I'm a bit out of touch with fashion. I have five dress shirts I rotate through out the week. Sometimes the shirt I wore on Monday, I also wear on Friday. I have two pairs of dress shoes, black and brown. The reason I have two pairs is that I needed a pair to match both sides of my reversible belt. I have five ties, and they take after my five shirts in consistency of being worn. I acquired four of those five ties at a church garage sale for a quarter each.
I say all of this to let you know that I am by no means an expert in the fields of style and fashion. Only five months ago I let someone touch my hair with something other than buzz clippers (Thank you, Karly Pebblegrasp). I am just not up to speed on how things should and shouldn't be done in the world of style and elegance.
So, I am now plead with you, man or woman from Estonia... the only person reading my blog... tell me what is the fascination with decorating your person, car home with birds in cages? I ran into the woman with the birdcage necklace again; a dangling symbol of lost hope and an unnatural state. More unsettling, I rode in the car of another equally pleasant young lady with what I could only discern was a caged-bird car freshener. A dangling bird would be just fine (though in that scenario the car could signify the cage. Yes, it might be a big cage compared to the bird, but a cage is a cage... a prison with a mall, a sprawling courtyard with fountains and a stream is still is a prison) but it had to be a dangling bird locked behind delicate, unbreakable bars.
It must be a new fad.
The reason I was in this symbolic clipper of freedom and hope was that I was invited to attend the opening night of an Australian Hip-Hop Artist known as Donald Jyles or DJ. My party and I arrived early enough to hear an opening act. Two guitarists and a girl keeping beat by slapping her right wrist with her left hand. The back-up guitarist wore a Jurassic Park hat and may have played music or sang, I don't remember. I think he was just a man in a hat. The lead guitarist was a husky fellow with a malleable voice. Not bad at all.
The main act was something else entirely. I am as bad a judge of music as I am of fashion, so I will do my best to say it like it is without praising or condemning. I do not listen to hip-hop, techno, rap or any of that jazz in my free time. This show was not an unpleasant time. I mostly stood in the corner pressed up against a couch and a thick ex-rugby player completely unaware of the amount of other people's space he consumed. I ate some ice cream (wish you were there Mr. Fire) and listened to the music. He was better than Nicki Minaj, but unfortunately he is two major butt implants and a sex-change with free spray on tan away from being heralded as the next big "feature" rapper. If I were given his CD for free, I would not put it on my laptop but I would pass it on to a friend. I wouldn't be surprised if someday an adequate amount of people in Australia knew the name Donald Jyles.
Tonight I am going to, for the first time to see "The Sound of Music." I have had several people go slack-jawed when I sported a blank look during discussions of the importance of this... thing, whatever it is. I'm not sure what to expect. The leading lady apparently has some pretty bad throat flu and had no understudy. That gives another meaning to the word... drama! I feel like this blog could get me a job writing for "Glee" though I don't know because I haven't seen that either.
I could also supplement my resume by filling in for another minor character tonight thus allowing that actor/actress to fill in for the leading character of the... thing. I'm guessing the leading character is named Jane, or Susan, or Christina. I'm going to check. Dang. Maria.
Oh this looks terrible. If only I were going to listen to a reading of "The Sound and the Fury."
I'll let you all know how it goes... I cat-swear!
Cheers,
Melmoth
I predict that "The Sound of Music" will be worse than Nicki Minaj. I also think that telling someone, "Your shirt is so loud" is better than Nicki Minaj.
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