I was recently inspired to blog by my good friends Lansford Hastings and Cyrus Weatherbee. I would encourage you to find these two individuals on Facebook if at all possible (Which it is!). They are very practical and generous individuals and would welcome your invitations with open arms and minds.
Australia is warming up. The weather is averaging a crisp 20 C, and the culture feels familiar, rather exceptionally similar to the Red, White and Blue. The classes are similar as well with the students heads congruent and ranging in as wide a size as you'll find in the states. The unrequited love also flourishes like the Kookaburra!
I begin teaching lessons in a few days. Then it will be 6-8 weeks of lessons with a three day year ten camp which will be a wonderful time and opportunity to get to know the students as well as a few of the teachers.
I take walks with Saathi quite a bit. She is the small dog owned by my host family. We get along quite well and she has very unique opinions on things. I won't share them here since she would probably be embarrassed. Tomorrow will be my first bout of Netball. It is a sport not too unlike basketball, except there are no nets on the rings at either end of the court... I don't know why.
I will be teaching Macbeth to year tens and Sylvia Plath to year nines. The 10's are a rowdy bunch, not unintelligent, but a bit disrespectful. I'm sure I'll have quite a time trying to get them interested in Macbeth. I'll plan some games and make a lot of jokes about death and betrayal (since those are two of the most prominent themes). Plath as well is a poet focused on herself and on suicide and abandonment... so it's going to be a joyful 6 weeks! Feel free to message me, (those of you who know who I truly am muwahaha!) and let me know that Macbeth and Plath are not the only way to live life, as I'll be living in their lives for the next two months.
Time to duck out of here and go analyze some more poetry about a child sucking the life out of their parent who was forced by fate to fall in love with a god who would inevitably betray her for the moon...
Cheers,
Melmoth
P.S. I have captured a bit of desk space here and am reminded of Ryszard Kapuscinski's words on desk life. Go look it up.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
A Review of Week One
I have a new register of speech.
I have adopted the Aussie tone to my common speech. When I am at my Aussie home, or speaking with people casually the tone of my voice, the actual pattern of my speech now mimics Australia. That is, while I am telling a story, the pitch of my sentences increases near the end. Then, for the last sentence of the story if drops down. Difficult to describe but very noticeable in conversation.
I speak most like an American in the classroom. The children are very entertained by it. I was helping in a 7th grade class the other day and one girl was unable to talk to me. Every time I tried to say something to her she would burst into a giggling fit and buried her face in her hands.
I have adopted the Aussie tone to my common speech. When I am at my Aussie home, or speaking with people casually the tone of my voice, the actual pattern of my speech now mimics Australia. That is, while I am telling a story, the pitch of my sentences increases near the end. Then, for the last sentence of the story if drops down. Difficult to describe but very noticeable in conversation.
I speak most like an American in the classroom. The children are very entertained by it. I was helping in a 7th grade class the other day and one girl was unable to talk to me. Every time I tried to say something to her she would burst into a giggling fit and buried her face in her hands.
So, my first week here has gone swimmingly. The only interaction I have had with spiders is seeing a dead one with a leg span the size of baseball stuck up in a ceiling light. It was a blurry view of a creature that I am sure haunts millions of peoples nightmares.
My classes are great and the children are more or less as behaved as US students. Good students, bad students. Students who put stock into academics, and students who scream for attention by beating what they think is a clever joke until it is a very dead horse. Seeing students in Australia that are so similar to students in the states has led to some thought...
My classes are great and the children are more or less as behaved as US students. Good students, bad students. Students who put stock into academics, and students who scream for attention by beating what they think is a clever joke until it is a very dead horse. Seeing students in Australia that are so similar to students in the states has led to some thought...
Before I left for Guatemala my grandma warned me to "watch out for all them foreigners." Before I left for Australia my mother told me to "be careful because there are a lot of weirdos out there."
Before coming to Australia, I was aware of the hyper-paranoia created by the media and its exceptional hold it had on my family. Coming here has continued to show me that, of course people think the world is filled with weirdos and freaks and murdering bilge rats! The students in my classroom have asked me multiple times about the celebrities and muggers.
CELEBRITIES AND MUGGERS!
That is the perception the youth have of America. That it is a nation of the famous and the desolately poor. My trip to Vegas was the same eye opening experience. Vegas is a city of people, not just a 5 mile strip of gambling and tomfoolery.
I will now stop being preachy, as being preachy is worse than Nicki Minaj.
So, my time here is going well. Things are EXPENSIVE HERE. I'm going to buy a pair of hiking shoes online as they are a quarter of the price on eBay. Wow, there is no substance to this post at all. Please don't read it. I'll try to better next time...
Here is something funny for those of you who read this post and were disappointed with it's contents.
Before coming to Australia, I was aware of the hyper-paranoia created by the media and its exceptional hold it had on my family. Coming here has continued to show me that, of course people think the world is filled with weirdos and freaks and murdering bilge rats! The students in my classroom have asked me multiple times about the celebrities and muggers.
CELEBRITIES AND MUGGERS!
That is the perception the youth have of America. That it is a nation of the famous and the desolately poor. My trip to Vegas was the same eye opening experience. Vegas is a city of people, not just a 5 mile strip of gambling and tomfoolery.
I will now stop being preachy, as being preachy is worse than Nicki Minaj.
So, my time here is going well. Things are EXPENSIVE HERE. I'm going to buy a pair of hiking shoes online as they are a quarter of the price on eBay. Wow, there is no substance to this post at all. Please don't read it. I'll try to better next time...
Here is something funny for those of you who read this post and were disappointed with it's contents.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
First Day of Aussie School
G'day,
Today was my first day in the classroom. Absolutely brilliant. The school far surpasses the above average school in the States. It far surpasses Spring Arbor, my old high school and probably your old high school which sucked no doubt.
It is the best school I have been to. It boasts a full staff of 30 or so with, as far as I have seen and bee told, no drama. Maybe some unrequited love, but that is just a hunch.
Every classroom has a smart board, in addition to a white board. Remember those rooms that had partitions that divided the room and could be moved to make it two smaller rooms into one big room? Yeah, those are here. AND THEY WORK. Aussie partitions are Better than Nicki Minaj. American partitions are not.
The school is also a series of buildings tucked on the side of a hill surrounded by trees which are filled with birds. The school has doubled in size in the last few years (now weighing in at 400 or so students) and has a fairly deep waiting list with new buildings currently under construction. As long as the school doesn't grow too fast, I can see it reaching a healthy size of 500-700 students while still maintaining it's integrity.
I am extremely disappointed with every toilet I have interacted with. I was so highly anticipating the toilet bowl swirel antithesis to our American toilets that since I have been let down I can barely force myself to go to the bathroom anymore.
Instead of a directly opposing spiral of water, I am given this: at the topmost part of the bowl, that is, the portion farthest away from the user, the water begins to rush when flushed. In a horseshoe like pattern it rushes around the bowl in both directions until it bashes into the twin stream from the other direction and falls towards the waste in a cascade of disappointment.
I still haven't gotten a power converter for my laptop, so I'm sort of digitally stranded. I'm using my host family's computer... host family. I sound like a parasite.
I'll be teaching MacBeth and Sylvia Plath this year. The Aussie students love my accent, so I don't think I'll have to actually read anything. They'll just be fascinated with my American words.
Oh and before I sign off, I wanted to let those that it concerns know that in one of my classes, we watched GATTACA. GATTACA is better than Nicki Minaj because Nicki Minaj saves something for the swim back.
Cheers,
Melmoth
P.S.
Matt. There are over 2000 species of Spider in Australa.
Today was my first day in the classroom. Absolutely brilliant. The school far surpasses the above average school in the States. It far surpasses Spring Arbor, my old high school and probably your old high school which sucked no doubt.
It is the best school I have been to. It boasts a full staff of 30 or so with, as far as I have seen and bee told, no drama. Maybe some unrequited love, but that is just a hunch.
Every classroom has a smart board, in addition to a white board. Remember those rooms that had partitions that divided the room and could be moved to make it two smaller rooms into one big room? Yeah, those are here. AND THEY WORK. Aussie partitions are Better than Nicki Minaj. American partitions are not.
The school is also a series of buildings tucked on the side of a hill surrounded by trees which are filled with birds. The school has doubled in size in the last few years (now weighing in at 400 or so students) and has a fairly deep waiting list with new buildings currently under construction. As long as the school doesn't grow too fast, I can see it reaching a healthy size of 500-700 students while still maintaining it's integrity.
I am extremely disappointed with every toilet I have interacted with. I was so highly anticipating the toilet bowl swirel antithesis to our American toilets that since I have been let down I can barely force myself to go to the bathroom anymore.
Instead of a directly opposing spiral of water, I am given this: at the topmost part of the bowl, that is, the portion farthest away from the user, the water begins to rush when flushed. In a horseshoe like pattern it rushes around the bowl in both directions until it bashes into the twin stream from the other direction and falls towards the waste in a cascade of disappointment.
I still haven't gotten a power converter for my laptop, so I'm sort of digitally stranded. I'm using my host family's computer... host family. I sound like a parasite.
I'll be teaching MacBeth and Sylvia Plath this year. The Aussie students love my accent, so I don't think I'll have to actually read anything. They'll just be fascinated with my American words.
Oh and before I sign off, I wanted to let those that it concerns know that in one of my classes, we watched GATTACA. GATTACA is better than Nicki Minaj because Nicki Minaj saves something for the swim back.
Cheers,
Melmoth
P.S.
Matt. There are over 2000 species of Spider in Australa.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Fists With Your Toes
The American electrical outlet looks something like this | |
P.S.
P.P.S.
I was introduced to a book series by John Marsden. The first is called Tomorrow, When the Way Began. It is about a group of young hikers who find themselves stuck in the woods when the Japanese invade Australia, they end up fighting back I think. I haven't read it yet, but I think I will read them while watching the movie RED DAWN over and over again.
o
The Australian electrical outlet looks like this / \
|
...so this will a shorter post.
I just finished lunch with my Aussie family. We had toast with cheese and beans. It was quite good. I also had a piece of toast with Vegemite which was much saltier than I anticipated. It wasn't bad, but I understand it to be an acquired taste. Only time will tell if I decide to acquire it.
I went for a walk today. I took the dog Saathi with me (Saathi means friend in another language, I forget which one.) I didn't get lost... but I took a wrong turn and ended up back at the start. A chute instead of a ladder. I'll try again tomorrow.
So, I am getting along extremely well with my Australian family. The accent isn't too difficult to adjust to and I am already thinking in it a little bit. I'm sure I'll soon be dreaming in Australian and then will before I know it I can put down on my resume that I speak two languages!
Jetlag is better than Nicki Minaj. Though I will say yesterday was the only day I had to deal with it. I stayed up from 2 AM to 8:30 PM. Then I slept until 9 AM this morning and voila! Fists with your toes...
My room is quite nice. I have a closet a bed and a desk. I toured the school the other day and am very excited to get in the classroom. Still though, Spring Arbor University School of Education Assignments have always been worse than Nicki Minaj. Maybe this time it will be different.
Regards,
Melmoth
Jetlag is better than Nicki Minaj. Though I will say yesterday was the only day I had to deal with it. I stayed up from 2 AM to 8:30 PM. Then I slept until 9 AM this morning and voila! Fists with your toes...
My room is quite nice. I have a closet a bed and a desk. I toured the school the other day and am very excited to get in the classroom. Still though, Spring Arbor University School of Education Assignments have always been worse than Nicki Minaj. Maybe this time it will be different.
Regards,
Melmoth
P.S.
Thanks Matt
P.P.S.
I was introduced to a book series by John Marsden. The first is called Tomorrow, When the Way Began. It is about a group of young hikers who find themselves stuck in the woods when the Japanese invade Australia, they end up fighting back I think. I haven't read it yet, but I think I will read them while watching the movie RED DAWN over and over again.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Another Wedding and the Impending Flight
The university library has a fairly extensive and convenient collection of CD's. I can only imagine that many people take advantage of such a collection by ripping dozens if not dozens of dozes of albums to their computer before they leave on a long trip! How inconsiderate.
Well, I leave for Australia in 6 days. I lose about 50 while traveling if you include the time change as I fly. Hopefully the thousands of dollars I am spending plus the 50 hours I am losing will be worth the experience of living in an area with a much higher percentage of poisonous creatures.
On to something worth talking about.
My most recent weekend adventure was a trip to Indianapolis. If you are unfamiliar with the city, let me quote, "A great city out of place in a terrible state." ~ John Melmoth.
I was the Co-Best man of this wedding (Co-Best = contradiction/paradox) and it was a wonderful time climaxing in the shredding of what used to be a rather nice dance floor. For a portion of the Bachelor Party we went to an arcade. After wasting money on arcade games which had very little by way of nostalgia or fun, we found the crown jewel: Deep Freeze.
Insert a coin and watch it roll down a ramp towards a thin hole. Roll the coin into the hole and earn fifty tickets. After trial and error and learning we could wedge the coin guide in the correct position, we walked away with over 3000 tickets. We bought two light up squishy balls with octopus tendrils and a checker board. The prizes were worse than Nicki Minaj, but defeating a machine akin to those that bested us as small children in Chuckie Cheese's far surpasses her.
LIVE UPDATE* A yellow jacket was just walking on my head. I grabbed it, threw it off, then reached for the closest object (a Scientific American: Questions about the Multiverse magazine) and swatted him. Let it be known that no bug may use my hair for a pillowy cushion. Any such attempt to do so will result in a similar fate. END LIVE UPDATE*
Well, I leave for Australia in 6 days. I lose about 50 while traveling if you include the time change as I fly. Hopefully the thousands of dollars I am spending plus the 50 hours I am losing will be worth the experience of living in an area with a much higher percentage of poisonous creatures.
On to something worth talking about.
My most recent weekend adventure was a trip to Indianapolis. If you are unfamiliar with the city, let me quote, "A great city out of place in a terrible state." ~ John Melmoth.
I was the Co-Best man of this wedding (Co-Best = contradiction/paradox) and it was a wonderful time climaxing in the shredding of what used to be a rather nice dance floor. For a portion of the Bachelor Party we went to an arcade. After wasting money on arcade games which had very little by way of nostalgia or fun, we found the crown jewel: Deep Freeze.
Insert a coin and watch it roll down a ramp towards a thin hole. Roll the coin into the hole and earn fifty tickets. After trial and error and learning we could wedge the coin guide in the correct position, we walked away with over 3000 tickets. We bought two light up squishy balls with octopus tendrils and a checker board. The prizes were worse than Nicki Minaj, but defeating a machine akin to those that bested us as small children in Chuckie Cheese's far surpasses her.
LIVE UPDATE* A yellow jacket was just walking on my head. I grabbed it, threw it off, then reached for the closest object (a Scientific American: Questions about the Multiverse magazine) and swatted him. Let it be known that no bug may use my hair for a pillowy cushion. Any such attempt to do so will result in a similar fate. END LIVE UPDATE*
After the success of the bachelor party we had a day of rehearsal. Then the following day was the wedding. This is the second in three weeks that I watched one of my best friends ride off into the night with his bride with a week long adventure in a foreign land on the cusp of their horizon. After we all left the reception hall, we decided to have an adventure of our own.
We dumped our junk at the hotel, walked to Wal-Mart and bought Pizza rolls. I slept on a cot.
It was the last night with some of my closest friends I will have for a while. Soon I will be the one riding off into the night (though without a bride) leaving the world I know behind. John Steinbeck wrote in "Travel's with Charley" about his experience in returning to a town he once lived in. Everything was different and he didn't belong their. He met people he remembered who remembered him, but it seemed as if the land didn't remember him. The place he was looking for existed only in his memories.
I am a bit afraid of that being the case when I return from Australia... whether it be in four months or four years. Still, "When in doubt, Castle" ~ Vonnegut.
~Adieu
P.S. I had dreams of "Shadowy Trees" last night. I also recall attempting to infiltrate some sort of warehouse on an Italian estate. I flew a jet very poorly. Still, the shadowy trees stick out the most...
We dumped our junk at the hotel, walked to Wal-Mart and bought Pizza rolls. I slept on a cot.
It was the last night with some of my closest friends I will have for a while. Soon I will be the one riding off into the night (though without a bride) leaving the world I know behind. John Steinbeck wrote in "Travel's with Charley" about his experience in returning to a town he once lived in. Everything was different and he didn't belong their. He met people he remembered who remembered him, but it seemed as if the land didn't remember him. The place he was looking for existed only in his memories.
I am a bit afraid of that being the case when I return from Australia... whether it be in four months or four years. Still, "When in doubt, Castle" ~ Vonnegut.
~Adieu
P.S. I had dreams of "Shadowy Trees" last night. I also recall attempting to infiltrate some sort of warehouse on an Italian estate. I flew a jet very poorly. Still, the shadowy trees stick out the most...
Monday, August 1, 2011
A series of photos that are all better than Nicki Minaj.
This is what I did with some of my free time today. I assume this is an old trick by internet standards... but I wanted to try it. It was worth it. I have another wedding this weekend. I am the co-best man for it... so... I'll let you all know how that goes! (These photos are from a lip sync competition I was in.)
"T'would be better to drown in thine own tears of boredom than to catch the whisper of the voice of Nicki Minaj" ~ John Melmoth
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